This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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