I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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