Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
