everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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