I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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