Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
