youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
