You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
