I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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