you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
