Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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