Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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