I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
