can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Randomize
