I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
