I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize