I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
