Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
