Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
