and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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