I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
