Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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