im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
