I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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