Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
