I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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