porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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