ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
