I look better un-naked...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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