I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
