Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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