I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
