party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
