you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize