The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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