my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize