She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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