I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how was he last night?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
well you can't waste a boner
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was