i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
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Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.