Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

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(310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat. http://tfl.nu/8e48

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(646): View more from New York

You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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(646): You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing.... http://tfl.nu/xrxl

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(734): View more from Michigan

turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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(734): turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis http://tfl.nu/zgff

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

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(612): I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday. http://tfl.nu/86uh

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest http://tfl.nu/b35x

Replies (20) Good night (5247) Bad night (1864)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.

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(405): Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/852v

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(510): View more from California

I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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(510): I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear http://tfl.nu/ry3a

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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(403): Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now http://tfl.nu/l7gb

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions

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(615): Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions http://tfl.nu/mr16

Replies (24) Good night (2631) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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(949): Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me. http://tfl.nu/lccl

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(407): View more from Florida

Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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(407): Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas. http://tfl.nu/zp3l

Replies (6) Good night (1658) Bad night (360)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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(774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf

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(907): View more from Alaska

We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"

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(907): We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!" http://tfl.nu/scid

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(706): View more from Georgia

Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.

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(706): Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time. http://tfl.nu/63oo

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(425): View more from Washington

'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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(425): 'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight. http://tfl.nu/r78k

Replies (5) Good night (747) Bad night (231)

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