Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
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you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.