Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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