That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
