Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
