Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
