this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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