ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
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i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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