you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
