two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
