Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
