I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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