I met the friendliest cop last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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