my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
