i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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