She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So many bounce houses so little time
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.