You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.