Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol