she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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