Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
