Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
