If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
